Letting go is the hardest part.

Letting go of something you held onto for the longest time, might possibly be the hardest thing to do. Let me tell you something. There was this place, a community I was a part of for the longest time. Some used to call it Paradise, and escape from everyday life, if you will. In this place, you can be anyone or anything you want to be. There was magic surrounding you everywhere you went, engulfing you into this safety blanket of make belief. This place protected you from the harsh realities of the real world. Everyday you would visit this place, make new friends, become family, and if you’re lucky, find love. Everyday this place would pull you in, masking over you with the idea that you can never leave. You get sucked in, more and more, abandoning your real life for this place of fantasy. It gets harder to cope as you go about the year. Things change as time proceeds. You find yourself tangled in the heartbreak, backstabbing, lies, drama and chaos that this place entails. You get hurt countless amount of times, that you cant bare to stay any longer. But you cant simply just leave. Too many wondrous memories to let go of. So what do you do? You push the pain to the farthest end of you mind and go about your life. It doesn’t start dawning on you till you’re at the edge of corruption. “Why cant I leave? Why cant I just leave?” the phrase repeating itself as you rack your brain for reasons as to why you’re holding on so tight. You sigh, tired from over thinking. You attempt to leave the morning after but your loved ones of this community stop you. They say it’ll get better and that you’ll be missed if you left. But you know in the back of your mind that a few weeks tops and you’ll be forgotten so easily. You never made the impact you wanted on these people, so why is it so fucking hard to leave? Just get out. Save yourself. Oh but you cant! You’re to attached to this false world that you do what you can to preserve it. You change what is able to and you get yourself pulled deeper in. You become more secluded as it drains your hope for a better life. It scares you of reality so you hide away in this so called paradise. At this point you have to leave. Come what may you take up the energy to leave, telling the one person that means the world to you about your departure. This is it, you finally leave. You’re free. So why do you feel like a part of you is missing? The urge to come back is too strong. You shed a few tears, realizing the sad truth of why it was so hard to leave in the first place. Your real life? You have no one. You’re alone and now on your own to face the harshness of reality. But come on, think about it. You’ve been through so much to give up now. Just hold on tight and do your best. It’ll get better. I hope it gets better.

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I'm a young adult who doesn't have a filter between my brain and my mouth. My thoughts tend to come alive-constantly- causing my perspective to change quite often. I don't know where I'm going but I know what I'm looking for. Adventure. Magic. Creativity. My words are the sharpest weapon in my arsenal and I am not afraid to use them.

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