A major milestone.

To be honest, I’ve always sucked at school. From the start of elementary till even now while I’m in college. It’s an undeniable fact, one I have no shame in frankly.  The reason being is I couldn’t really pull myself to a high place in terms of grades because, I would always get bored of the subject we were learning and end up giving up on whatever it was. Whenever that happened, I would indulge in a long list of crafts and creativity to fill the empty space this boredom left. Which took a strong toll on my life as it was, since I would end up focusing on art instead of school.

I’ve always been an average to basic student, if anything. I wouldn’t really go anywhere without the push and pull of those around me. Sadly they had more confidence in me than I had in myself. Throughout my high-school career I tried to strive for some heading into the future but I was stumped. I didn’t know what I wanted to do…

Initially coming to FIDM I wanted to learn fashion design, because I found it intriguing and I wanted to extend my knowledge of sewing garments together, but I was steered in a different direction by my admissions counselor when she gave me a different option in terms of what I showed her of my artistic abilities. Let me clarify. Upon admissions to the school, each student is subjected to filling out a packet of a specific major to see if its something they really should be doing. My counselor thought it wise to give me the packet to a different major than the one I was applying to and was pleased by my results. That’s how I ended up in Visual Communications in the first place.

But the fact that this major is so broad, I ended up getting pulled in multiple directions and began falling into that shameful pit of despair again. I got depressed and before I knew it, my grades were so bad on top of getting sick all the time, I ended up being kicked out of the college. But I didn’t really tell people that, I mean, I already have such a negative image when it came to academics in the first place, this would have only dug the hole deeper. Only a chosen few really know what happened. If you weren’t someone I trusted you would get the “Oh I took a year off to try new things!” response. After blood, sweat, and tears, Im back in the school and trying really hard to finish up the final run I have.

You know how people tell you, it takes a while for some to finally figure out where they’re going? Yeah well it took more than a fucking lifetime for me. Here I am near the end of my college run (I have a few quarters left), I can finally say that I found where I want to go. We recently had a group editorial shoot that basically shined a light on my path for the future. It seems cliche but I can honestly say that my head felt like a compass pointing north after that day. I really want to become a stylist, whether it’s starting out as an assistant first, so be it. It doesn’t matter, as long as I get to where I want to be.

And also after what seemed like forever, I finally feel confident in myself because of the fact that I managed to stay on top of my grades (despite getting sick once or twice) which is surprising to me because I didn’t expect it to feel this good. I hope that whatever the future has in store for me, It ends up feeling as good as it does now. At least I finally have a solid goal to strive for, so that’s one thing.

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I'm a young adult who doesn't have a filter between my brain and my mouth. My thoughts tend to come alive-constantly- causing my perspective to change quite often. I don't know where I'm going but I know what I'm looking for. Adventure. Magic. Creativity. My words are the sharpest weapon in my arsenal and I am not afraid to use them.

One thought on “A major milestone.

  1. Greetings! I’ve been reading your website for some time now
    and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a
    shout out from Dallas Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the
    great work!


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